WARNING : (MAY CONTAIN THE WORD VAGINA, BUTT, LABIA A LOT)
I HAVE WARNED YOU.
I must say, waxing can be downright excruciating especially when it comes to Brazilian or Bikini waxing. I have done it innumerable times and yet, every time I find myself spread on that table like a bloody turkey, a little part of me dies inside. I could still bring back every inch of that time I lied on that table for the first time – utterly exposed and mortified. It was one of those moments where you start to question about your life decision and subsequently be full of contrition.
Benefits of waxing
- Because waxing pulls the hair from the roots, it will last longer than shaving. ( 3 weeks – 8 weeks depending on the individual)
- Waxing produces smoother result. Stubble-free skin!
- No skin irritation or allergies.
- The hair won’t grow as thick after a while.
Before I finally mustered the guts to do it, I had always been fairly inquisitive about alternative method for hair removal and when I had finally talked to my friend about it, she thought I should just go for it and that I’d love the result. She must have hated me. I did my research, read a few comical blog posts from people sharing their experience, and I thought, hey, why the hell not? Without much thought, I booked my appointment at Bubble Gum Wax and when that day finally came, I was drowned with dread. The thought of lying naked in front of another person made me nauseous. Truth to be told, I am still not quite used to that. Nevertheless, I was fairly excited. I needed it; I had an island vacation coming up anyway.
As she ushered me to the room, I felt my heart sank low. The minute I walked into the room, I thought, it was a lovely setting. It was a small room, adorable, confined in between these brick walls and a frame of a motivational quote hung across the spa bed. It felt as though I was about to go for a war.
“Take off your pants and top and hang them right over here,”
The fairly petite sized lady broke the silence and pointed her finger at the little hooks.
“I will come back when you are ready. Please use the wipes to wipe your vagina okay.”
The moment I heard the word ‘vagina’, I knew then that that was the death of me.
Off she went with a smile, completely oblivious to the fact that I might ruin her day and there I was, standing in the midst of the dimly lit room. I did as she said, wrapped myself in the towel provided and crawled onto my death bed, I meant, table. I contemplated on running away but by the time that thought surfaced, she had knocked on the door and walked in. She switched on the lights and made me spread my legs. She peeped and tugged and scrutinised every inch of my being and all emotions being felted into one fabric—uneasiness, awkwardness, anxiety, chagrin, mortification. As my response to that, I began to giggle. She looked at me, baffled.
“I am sorry, this is my first time. I am terrified. I giggle when I am terrified.”
“Don’t worry! You’re going to love the result.”
As much as I’d like to sugarcoat the entire experience, it was truly excruciating. Especially when it comes to the labia region which is your sensitive area and the V Part. They hurt like a mother. I had requested for a sleeping pill or anaesthetic but she laughed, thinking it was a joke. It most certainly was not. I even contemplated on telling her to stop and storming out of the salon with my patchy vagina because it really did hurt.
She applied the hot wax and asked if the temperature was alright. It felt odd but it was alright. Afterward, she proceeded by slapping a strip on the area and during the peel off, she was really quick about it. The other areas however were not too bad. I had prepared for the worst pain of my life but after she peeled the strip off, I thought, hey that is not too bad…..until she got to the labia part. I can’t count the times I almost kneed her in the face. She was struggling to make small talks to make me feel comfortable which was a little helpful. I was trying to pay no heed to the fact that I was butt naked but she was tugging my vagina as we spoke so that was definitely not a great way to converse with someone.
“So are you doing this for your wedding night?”
“Oh no way. I am going to Phuket.”
I thought to myself, there is no way I am doing this for a man. I’ll just send him a greeting card or something.
And then comes the butt part. I honestly will regret sharing this much information. Anyway, where was I? The butt part. Never once in my life would I have thought about that moment.
“Now turn over.”
This was something very unordinary to me. I am sure, to most. I wanted to burst out crying and laughing and so I texted my friend and said,
“So yes, she is scrunitising my butt,” which, she responded, “Do not fart!”
She broke the silence and said,
“Miss, could you spread your butt cheeks.”
I roared in laughter. That is surely something I thought I’d never hear.
“Please try to relax. It is very tense down here.”
I honestly wanted to die…………
In all seriousness, as for the butt part, it did not hurt.
But they were right though. The result was incredible! Stubble-free skin and the pain was definitely worthwhile. I guess once you’ve gone for waxing, you’ll never go back to shaving.
Things you should know before you go waxing
- Make sure your hair is the right length. About an inch long. It will be more painful if it is longer and if it is short, you’ll end up with ingrown hairs.
- Do not go during your period. It will be messy but if you have no option, wear a tampon. But avoid going three days leading up to your period because your skin will be more sensitive, hence, more pain. It is okay if you like pain.
- Find a reputable salon. Somewhere that is professional and sanitary. I am sure price is a concern but Bubble Gum Wax is pretty reasonable priced. They have a few outlets all over the place which is great. Also, cleanliness is very important. You wouldn’t want to end up with skin infection or some sort.
- Be prepared for redness and bumps. No shit, Sherlock.
Things you should know AFTER waxing
- No exercise, tanning, or intercourse at least a day after waxing.
- Apply ingrown hair serum
- After 24 hours have passed, exfoliate regularly.
It wasn’t that bad, really. To some, they won’t feel a thing. (Maybe they have vagina made out of steel) but it is something bearable, really. You’ll love the result.
I remember talking to some girls (And boys) and the fact that they think, girls who wax their bikinis do it only because of men is completely absurd. I for the fact, do this because i feel it is rather hygienic. Why would anyone voluntarily put themselves into such situation just for a man? I cannot quite comprehend.