For the past few months, my mind has been utterly consumed with wedding preparations. I have been spending hours and hours of my time on Pinterest in search for the perfect dress and the perfect décor; finding the right dressmaker that would not bore a hole through my bank account, finding the perfect venue, the perfect caterer, hairstylist. And now that I have decided to do my own makeup on that day, I have been so busy researching for the right products and makeup tutorials. And I realised, I have yet to take a step back and let the most predominant part of it all sink in. The part where I am going to be somebody’s wife in a few months’ time. I knew this day would come but up until a year ago, this day seemed distant to say the least.
Surely, for the longest time, I had always dreamed of this day. In fact, some nights, I dreamed about this in my sleep – I would be walking down the aisle with my father next to me in a flowy white dress with just a touch of lace, hair bunned up with only a few strands let loose. But all those while, even in those dreams, I would find myself standing next to the man I would marry, the groom, all suited up, but as I gradually turned to him, the man had no discernible face and then, I would wake up. I had dreamed the same dream for a few times until recently, as I reached the end of the aisle, I finally saw the man I was marrying and imagine my relief finding the same face that I have loved for eight years stood before me. And I knew then, as I know now, that this is the man I would want to spend the rest of my life with.
I am so grateful that all has been well so far. Everything flows with such ease. Earlier this year, my greatest concern was that my father wouldn’t accept the proposal. He had always been a very difficult person when it comes to people I date. My father has always been very protective, and I guess, he has always wanted the best for me. And now, sometimes, when I am getting ready for a date, I would come down to seeing both of them conversing with each other that warms my heart incredibly. I remember mom asking me, “What happens if papa says no to you and him?” And I had impetuously said, “Then I will break things off and stay single.” There is no doubt in that because that is how unquestionably important my dad’s blessing is to me and I am so glad that it didn’t have to come to that. My mom and him have been best friends probably since the first year we dated. When i studied abroad, he was the one driving my mom around. So mom’s blessing is the least of my worries.
I still remember that day when Faris met my father to ask my hand for marriage and I felt a lump in my chest, like the kind of anxiety you get right before something momentous is about to happen. Like before your big examination, or graduation or job interview. I remember mother and I burst into tears while my dad trying to hold back his. “As long as you can take care of her,” he had said.
I thought I would become a bridezilla and I don’t want to jinx it but not yet. I had this idea of what my wedding day would be like in my head before I even planned it, but safe to say that things are NOT going to be the same. All I am asking is for the day to go smoothly and beautifully. Surprisingly, despite not getting what I wanted, I am totally okay with that. The old me would have thrown a tantrum like a massive brat i was. Initially, I wanted a wedding dinner but instead, we are going for a luncheon instead. I wanted a marquee wedding and repeatedly told everyone that I hate indoor weddings but guess what, it is going to be an indoor wedding. I wanted a wedding by the lakeside, nope, not happening. And despite all that, I am still very much excited about getting married and I just can’t wait to marry my best friend and off we go for new adventures together. I told him if i could i would marry him now in Thailand, but he thinks he is so classy like that so i will just have to wait……..