It has been a while since I last wrote anything. Exhausted, demotivated, anxious, all felted into one fabric. I have tried disconnecting myself from social media for a few weeks and it felt like a breath of fresh air. I was completely oblivious to what was going on – I did not want to know about the politics or the number of cases. It’s true, ignorance is truly bliss. I guess, disconnecting myself from the outside world should be a monthly ritual because it feels good but it is a privilege I must acknowledge. But the fresh air is now again tinged with a deep cloud of uncertainty and calamity.
One thing this whole pandemic has stolen from us is our freedom. Our freedom to meet our loved ones, our freedom to travel, our freedom to choose and to simply, just live. Staying at home one lockdown after another has been difficult for most of us. I am sure, some of us have had a harder time compared to the rest. Not knowing if you’ll wake up with a roof above your head the next day, or food on the table for your family. And to top it all off, it is almost impossible to catch a glimpse of hope because of the incompetent leaders that are destroying our country to say the least. With everything that is happening, the only emotion I could ever feel is anger. I have read somewhere that says anger is the catalyst for change. You just need to know how to harness it to fuel positive change. Well so far, all I have ever done is just being angry and I realise, constantly talking about how I angry I am is just a waste of energy and it is just never enough. l always end up hurting the people around me with my words and action when I have this raging pent-up anger. And again, I am drowned in this feeling of helplessness that just won’t go away.
This morning, I woke up to a video of a group of men pulling a little child out from the rubble of the place they once called home. The look on his face, how his eyes reflect the horrors he has seen, haunts me up until this moment. I reckon, he is probably a little over a year old or two. Or the photos that you see everywhere for the past few days. Pictures of a father holding his dead child with grief that is so palpable. Picture of a dead bride-to-be with a gold ring on her grey finger. And I think about their freedom. Their freedom that has been taken away. How suffocating it must be to live in a world with constant fear, to have to witness unimaginable things that no child should ever have to witness throughout their lifetime. How degrading it is to live in your home for generations and to have someone knocking on the door one day and telling you it is now theirs. My heart breaks for the Palestinians. All the innocent souls that are lost. Heaven has gained many angels.
I guess, the only thing we can do right now is educate the people around you about what is going on and donate. Every cent matters. I hereby include the list of organisations that you could donate to so that your money actually goes to the victims and not to someone’s lavish lifestyle.