I wish memories do not fade. I wish there are ways to keep some moments last for as long as i live with not a single detail being left out — the people in the picture, the roaring laughter in the background, the food we had, the conversation, their voice and the face of people i cherish. I wish if there weren’t photographs and video recordings, i’d be able to bring back every inch of every memory i have mustered for the past twenty-six years but sometimes, to no avail. If i could i would document every bit of every moment but that would be sheer lunacy. I reckon, all i could do best is to write it down and perhaps someday, the future me could read this and remember the faces of people that have brought so much happiness into my life.
Moments like this, I hope that someday i will never forget these memories we create in unison. I am eternally grateful for the love and i realise, you don’t need a million of companions when you have the right one next to you alongside the few ones that matter most to you. And i used to be the same one who had the need to surround myself with a group of people everywhere i go not knowing that even so, that won’t stop you from feeling entirely alone.
That morning, i woke up feeling fairly mellow. Without any inclination to leave bed, i began to reply to every birthday wish from closest friends and family. I didn’t expect to receive so much love from people this time but my phone couldn’t stop ringing and i felt overwhelmed with love. I rolled in bed like a pig in a mud for a while longer before mustering every bit of strength to leave bed and getting ready. The boyfriend (I loathe the word) would be taking me out to lunch and dinner and as always, i knew it would be full of surprises. To be entirely honest with you, he is the best at keeping secrets and planning surprises. To think of it, everyone around me is good at it except for moi. Farrace’s surprises are always very uncommon! From extravagant restaurants with exquisite views to a plane ride in the city, etc etc you can’t really foresee his plan. Early this year, he wouldn’t let me lavish on him so he ended up ruining the entire plan that i had for him in Mandarin Oriental and so we ended up in Pelita because he wanted his curry crabs. He is a very simple guy to please, i must say.
I, on the other hand, am not much of a good planner or secret keeper. I often ended up telling him what the surprises were before i could even surprise him because i couldn’t contain my excitement. It’s a sickness, really. That, or, he’ll have it all figured out before i could even begin doing anything which is a complete bummer. I wish i could keep a straight face but i am not much of a good liar, you see. Off we went to KLCC and we had Japanese for lunch. Besides not knowing how to plan surprises, i am not really good at handling my curiosity. Sigh. He is not a very lucky man, is he not?
“Babe, where are you taking me?”
“Please stop asking me.”
“I need somethinggg! omg i can’t breathe. I am getting anxiety attack.”
“Fine. A hint, it is something really big!”
“ARE YOU GOING TO PROPOSE????!!” i practically yelled so i think almost everyone in the restaurant could hear me.
“Are you going to take me to Petrosains? You are aren’t you? Baby? Petrosains right? I don’t want you to spend so much pls!”
“Sigh. I need to distract myself so that i can breathe again.”
With no absolute idea of what was awaiting me, he whispered to my ears as we neared the YSL store. “Act normal. Choose anything you want. Budget 10k only.” Took me long enough to comprehend the entire situation. My knees began to tremble, literally and my heart dropped to my stomach. “What??” I pulled him out of the store, and said, “No. Are you crazy? This is too much. No. Can we go now? I can’t do this. No no no.” And he said, “If you don’t do this i will be disappointed.” So he took my hands in his and took me inside the store when a kind lady greeted us. It’s too late now isn’t it. “Choose anything you want.” I was literally out of words i wasn’t sure how to respond. But i knew the handbag that i wanted because i almost bought one long time ago but i did not want to spend so much on it so i did not. I wanted to ask, “Which one is the cheapest here?” but i know, Farrace is going to kick me in my guts, embarrassed (Figuratively speaking, not sure how that works). “Can i take a look at the classic one?” And she brought us the ones i had been eyeing on. “How much is it?” “8 thousand” I contemplated on leaving the store but i could see an apparent feeling of excitement in Farrace’s face. “I don’t know babe can you just choose for me?” He replied, “This is too small i don’t like it. What about this one?” And then he went to see the others just to check if there was anything more interesting and he did. He ended up choosing the one from the new collection which was four days old……… I couldn’t stop saying “I can’t go through with this you’re crazy. I can’t accept this. You can give this to your mom!!” But yeah, he ended up paying for it anyway and right at this moment, i am still feeling rather incredulous. What have i done to deserve such a wonderful man? “You’ve been with me since i had RM 10 in the bank so you deserve this.” I wanted to cry but excitement, guilt, felted into one fabric with guilt jutting out the most.
That night, as we were headed to a restaurant for dinner, my best friend and her beau were already seated at the table and that was another surprise for the night. Cake, balloons, wishes from strangers. I am so grateful to have the best kind of souls around me. Just a reminder, if you are reading this, it is okay to eradicate friendships or people from your life if they don’t recognise your value. Keep the ones that do and you’ll be eternally grateful for the decision.
Farrace has always been so selfless. He puts his family and I before himself and his soul is just so pure that i feel i am undeserving of his kindness and love at times (most of the time). I am eternally grateful to be with this man, not because of the YSL handbag but because the endless stream of love he has showered me for almost 9 years now. I can’t wait to have this man as my husband so that i could spend the rest of my lifetime as his wife and i hope God will continuously bless him with great health (and wealth and success) because to be entirely honest, he is the most selfless and down-to-earth man i know and i cannot imagine the kind of life it would be to not have this man by my side.